I've been humming the Garth Brooks song "Unanswered Prayers" since the end of last week. Darren and I have been praying pretty diligently about something for the past two months and we found out Friday it wasn't going to happen. I cried, Darren took it in stride, as he always does. Now, because Darren is so private, I can't share the details of our prayers, but will say it's something we both wanted and asked God for. He says to ask, right? Of course, we also prayed for His will in our lives, whatever that is - but then I'd end my prayer with, "but what I want is..." So I told the Lord over the weekend I was kind of mad at him. Do you think that's okay?? I told him to let me be mad for a day and then I'll 'get over it.' I know God is in control and I want him to be in control, but I was disappointed and quite honestly a little mad that our prayers were unanswered - or at least not answered in the way we had hoped. I don't know why I keep sing the Garth Brooks song because it's nothing like the lyrics - not pining over an old flame at a football game!!
So I've been feeling pretty blue for the last few days. Simon, my cat, must have sensed something because this morning he brought me a gift.
A little bird. He was standing on the front porch meowing like crazy. I thought he was hurt, so I open the door and he comes right in, marches to the door of my office and plops down. I still don't notice my gift. I sit back down and he starts meowing again, loud. I spin around in my chair and there he is, with his dead bird. I turned back around at my desk to finish a job I was working on and he just kept meowing. I guess I wasn't acknowledging the gift like I was supposed to. I went over and pet him and he pushed the bird toward me. Okay, it's gross, I know, and I hate that he kills things - I keep telling him he's a lover and not a killer, although I took away his love at six months old!! Anyway, I thought it was so sweet. I picked it up and threw it in our back yard and he goes back out, picks it up and brings it back in and puts it by my chair. I thanked him, asked him to please take it outside, which he did and proceeded to eat it.
For those of you who aren't animals lovers will think I'm completely twisted to love my gift from my pet. For those of you who do love animals, hopefully you'll get it and won't think I'm a loon!!
4 comments:
It's totally okay to tell God you're mad at Him. He can't minister to our heart unless we open it up with honesty. But I am so sorry that your prayer wasn't answered as you both wanted.
Yes, our cat Angel also is always bringing in her conquests - birds, mice, lizards. Most of the time we find bird heads on our porch. We are not as appreciative as you were with Simon!
CJC
I have heard some say that you shouldn't yell or get mad at God, that it shows complete arrogance on our part...
But then I think of David. A quick perusal of his Psalms (see ch. 13, 22, 35) show him angry and impatient with God, yet he always ends with thanks for finally answering his prayers.
Our God is a big God. He can take it. But you're right. He's in charge!
I am sorry to hear that things did not go the way you wanted. I have been there when I didn't understand why God answered the way He did. I had it all figured out and I thought it would be best the way I planned. Why did God do it differently?? We may never know on this earth why He does things the way He does. But we (you) have to go on with our lives and ask God for strength to help us (you) cope with the answer. Also go get some Haggen-Daus and have a good cry. I love ya girl and I will be praying for you both.
I'm sorry about your prayers not being answered and for the disappointment. Big hug! :(
Cats are thoughtful aren't they!:)
We had a cat that brought in a live bird once and there were feathers everywhere!
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