Monday, July 28, 2008

WHY DO OLD PEOPLE TALK TO ME????????


I'm in K-Mart this afternoon and in the femine product aisle - there is an old lady there looking at 'male protection' - I can't seem to type THAT word - and something to help her out - again, I can't actually type it out!! She's got a couple tubes in one hand and boxes in the other, reading and studying intently. Her basket is in the middle of the aisle and I can't get around her. I say excuse me several times and she's so intensely studying these products she doesn't even hear me. Finally she sees me and proceeds to ask me -

"Excuse me young lady, do you know which one of these feel better for the man? I want him to be comfortable." OH MY GOSH. I kind of froze, seriously, I didn't say a word, I couldn't move, I couldn't blink. Then she asks me, "Have you used one of these lub.....t's before, is one brand better than the other?" Then I started laughing. I apologized for laughing and she started laughing and said, "Oh honey, I know I'm old at 82 years but I'm dating a 75-year-old so things still work."

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - PLUG MY EARS!!!!!!!!! At this point I'm laughing so hard I had to walk away. I backed up out of the aisle, laughing and waving good-bye at her.

Maybe she's dating the old guy that commented on my big hiney (see below).

I'm going to start hiding from old people - the scare me!!

7 comments:

Rhonda said...

Oh Debbie - I am laughing out loud at this one.

DonnaG said...

OH MY GOSH. I don't know if I am more shocked that you didn't know what to say to the woman or that you can not type CONDOM or LUBRICANT. Seriously Debbie, are you ever going to grow up????

:) :) :)

By the way, that which happened to you at K-Mart would be my dream encounter and the piece de resistance of blogging material. I would have run every red light to come home and post about it.

One more thing... what kind of TAMPONS were you searching for??? Light days, heavy days, the multipack? Do you ever read about Toxic Shock Syndrome? Or were you looking at Trojans, KY or the sort?

DonnaG said...

PS.... you had better not delete my comment!

DonnaG said...

One last thing... you better believe that it is still happening at 75 years old. I read in the book Sheet Music that we women must look at the older gentlemen as a tree. "Think Pine, not Oak." Not as strong as it used to be but it is still a stately tree!

Debbie said...

I must apologize to all my other readers out there for my lunatic friend DonnaG!!!

Kim said...

Just wanted to know.....Are you thinking about leaving your house tomorrow? Better think twice!!!! And stay away from Spires restaurant you know who hangs out there.....OLD PEOPLE!!! Your life is hilarious lately. Thanks for the laughs.

tjep said...

This post is a crack up! Even the comments..well ok,.. Donna's comments are a riot!

So Debbie...were you able to help her? LOL!